I’m terrible with being put on the spot; so running into people I haven’t seen in a while is pretty much my worst nightmare.
I couldn’t think of anything more nerve racking than trying desperately to make small talk and going into panic mode internally while attempting to come up with stories to share with this person that’ll make me look interesting and/or successful.
90% of the time, failing to come up with something worthwhile to share, I end up defaulting with talking about my mediocre routine of ‘work-eat-sleep-repeat’. Same old, same old. Boringgggggg.
As quickly as possible, I’ll throw the same question right back at the other person so they can start going on about their six-month European holiday/ recent engagement/ wedding/ cute little baby/ dream house etc and how well they’re doing.
While I’m half-listening to their tales, I find myself subconsciously thinking about every decision I’ve ever made in my life to get to the point I’m at now. “What am I actually doing with my life?”
“Why has this conversation made me feel so shitty?”
“More importantly, why am I allowing it to?”
Hello again everyone!
I’m back from a much longer than anticipated hiatus! Yay!
I didn’t plan to take this much time away from writing (seven months but who’s counting lol), it just kind of happened, and I apologise.
Life has a funny way of throwing a few spanners into the works and ruining all your plans to be productive human being.
Regardless, I feel as if I owe you an explanation, or rather, I want to share with you, where I’ve been and what’s been going with me since the last time I posted.
In many ways, I could write off the past seven months as more or less a lot of working and not much else, but really, they’ve been so much more than that, and I would be doing myself a disservice to say otherwise.
I’ve learnt so many new things, met heaps of new people and had lots of new experiences.
I’ve laughed hard and cried harder. I had some really awful days, and days where I couldn’t stop smiling because I was so happy.
I want to be able to talk about these things and not downplay them because they’re not as exciting as what my ‘friends’ are posting on social media.
It made me think; why aren’t I sharing these stories with people? What makes them any less important than an insta-famous girl in a bikini or a boomerang of a pre drinks on a Saturday night? Isn’t real life more important than this image of ourselves we create and fabricate online?
I want to share the things I’ve achieved, the experiences I’ve had, and how they’ve shaped me as a person and helped me grow.
I wanted to change this negative way of thinking that my stories aren’t important enough, and I figured that this post would be a good place to start. A clean slate, almost.
I didn’t want to bore you all with an unnecessarily long spiel about my life over the past couple of months, so I’m just going to summarise the more important parts for you here below.
So what has been going on with me? Well, chuck the kettle on, pull up a chair and I’ll break it down for ya!
I got a new job
I left a job where I no longer felt fulfilled, in the pursuit of something new and different. This was a huge, frightening step for me, but the right one. I honestly had no idea what this new job would entail, and it was certainly not what I expected at first, but it was a good experience nonetheless. It eventually led me to a new role within the company which I’m really enjoying, and for the first time in a while, I can actually say I like my job.
I booked a holiday
I’m excited to say that in 2 and a half short months, I will be off to Japan for the first time! And more excitingly, I’m doing it with my favourite person in the world. I studied Japanese in high school and I’ve always wanted to visit Japan, so I’m very excited for this trip and have been very busy planning it. I’ll be sure to post a lot more about my trip in the coming months.
I’ve been taking lots of photos
In the last seven months (I’d even go as far as to say the last twelve months actually), I’ve been spending more and more time visiting new places and documenting them in the form of photos. I’ve found that this is something I really enjoy and want to continue to do. I’m looking into more professional cameras and ways for me to further my skills in this area. I’m still only a beginner, but I’m keen to educate and challenge myself. Most of my pictures end up on my Instagram, so click here if you want to check them out, I’d appreciate any and all feedback 🙂
I lost my best friend
Probably the shittiest part of the past seven months was losing my dog. My 4-year-old Labrador developed a brain tumour and slowly deteriorated over the space of a few short weeks until we ultimately made the decision to put him to sleep a month ago. It’s still super fresh and I’m still struggling to come to terms with the fact that he’s gone, but I take comfort in the fact that he’s no longer in pain. He lived a short life, but I know that in the time we had together, he was truly loved and I miss him every day.
I’m still working on myself
I haven’t forgotten about the goals I’ve set for myself this year, and I’m continuing to work on them and ultimately, on myself. Although I’ve been distracted/deterred for a while, I think I’m finally in a good place to get back on track. It’s never too late to start, and I’ve still got an endless amount of time to see things through.
One of my resolutions for this year was to write more, after resurrecting my blog late last year. I easily could’ve seen this hiatus as a point of giving up, and left it at that, but I’m determined to turn my thoughts and dreams into actions.
Seven months is a long time. So much has changed in my life, and some things were harder to accept than others. There are people who are no longer in my life, and things that have happened that I could never have dreamed of. But at the same time I’ve had relationships grow stronger, and new ones blossom. I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that life is unpredictable, sometimes cruel, sometimes kind, and incredibly short.
If you take anything away from this post, let it be this:
Learn to acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small they are, and the next time someone asks: “what’s been going on with you?”, don’t be afraid to tell them what you’ve accomplished, or downplay your successes because they’re worth celebrating, and so are you.
I’m looking forward to sharing more with you all.